I HATE Amelia Bedilia

I read a lot as a kid. My book snobbery started young, and now that I’m an adult (that’s what it’s called when you have a bachelor’s degree in Literature and Creative Writing but no career, right?) I feel I can finally vocalize my extreme hatred of Amelia Bedilia.

Amelia Bedilia is an idiot. I don’t know how anyone can find her mistakes charming. It’s a miracle she has never killed anyone. It’s surely only a matter of time.

Slow down there Amelia, before someone charges you with malpractice.

Amelia is not qualified for the jobs she applies for. In fact, I don’t think she is qualified to be in public unsupervised.

Here she is leaving a classroom of children behind.

Those poor children, their inquisitive minds burning for knowledge completely unaware that Amelia Bedilia is about to ruin any chance they ever had at going to college. If they were at a private school they might have sensed Amelia was not a credentialed teacher by her insistence on wearing a maid’s uniform. However, having never seen a maid these children thought her outfit and bonnet quite nice.

Who are your references, Amelia? Who?!

What I Read in 2011

I did a lot of reading in 2011. 16 books. (Well 17 if you count The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. I found this book so infuriating and awful that I didn’t even read past the mystery being solved. That’s right I didn’t read the last 50 pages out of spite!) For some reason in 2011 I read mostly non-fiction. Here is my own Best and Worst list.

Best Non-Fiction 

Stephen King on Writing  By Stephen King

Stephen King offers insight into his journey to the best-seller list. I found his methods for writing practical and inspiring. Even if you are not a fan of his work (but you should be, The Body, The Shining, to say the least) he knows his stuff. Inspiring for any writer.

Louisa May Alcott: The Woman Behind Little Women by Harriet Reisen

Louisa’s own life wasn’t the portrait of warm domesticity that Little Women portrays even though the much of the best-selling novel was based on Louisa’s own life. Louisa, like Jo, struggled with an absent father, a sick sister, and the pressure to be the bread winner of her family at a time when women couldn’t even vote.

Bossy Pants by Tina Fey

Reading Bossy pants made me wish Tina Fey was one of my best friends. Funny, smart, and all around charming.

Gangs of New York by Herbert Asbury

This true account of life in New York during and immediately after the Civil War is terrifying and addictive. Herbert Asbury reports on the gangs with just the facts, how much it would cost to have your enemy’s arm broken. Which dance halls were safe for various gangs. With pictures, maps, and glossary of slang, this book is a treasure chest.

Out of Africa by Isak Dinesen

I don’t know if I’ve ever read anything as beautiful or romantic as Out of Africa. Iask Dinesen’s real life memories about working on a Coffee farm in Africa is like reading poetry or watching waves roll in. Her writing is lyrical yet straight-forward. I imagine her writing mirrors Africa itself.

Cleopatra by Stacy Schiff

Did you know that the story of Cleopatra and the asp is sort of the George Washington chopping down the cherry tree of it’s day? There is a reason this book won the Pulitzer. Everyone thinks they know the story of Cleopatra but I promise, you don’t.

Best Fiction

True Grit by Charles Portis

The book is just as charming and engaging as the film. In case you didn’t know the book is about a young girl determined to capture the man who killed her father. She hires the best bounty hunter around, Rooster Cogburn, to accompany her. The story is told by the matter-of-fact protagonist Mattie Ross and damn if she doesn’t have more grit than most. The book is simple but captivating. I’m curious to read more by Portis.

The Razor’s Edge by Somerset Maugham

Fitzgerald gets all the credit for writing about a wealthy, recklessly extravagant world, but I think Maugham does it better. The story follows Larry, a young man born to privilege who gives up everything after World War I for a life of spirituality, much to the chagrin of his childhood sweetheart, Isabel.